so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
