He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
