Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
