Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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