So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
