i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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