he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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