Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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