i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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