I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
