i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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