drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
