It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my shit smells like andre
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
