escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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