sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
