I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
