I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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