Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
