There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
