Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
