i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
