I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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