were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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