in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
