I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
