also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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