The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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