why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
