that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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