My boss' voice literally gives me gas
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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