oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
