I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize