I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize