You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
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