similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
