just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
