Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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