You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
