Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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