I bet he comes in French.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
