i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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