Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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