Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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