Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
