That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The struggles of a small town man whore
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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