That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
