i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
