Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
