Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
