is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
